The theory on having Babies

 If you can’t conceive on your own, the other option is IVF by means of an egg or sperm donor. The doctor puts you on various fertility medications to make your womb a perfectly habitable place for a 2–5 cm embrio that will grow into a full size baby in 9 months, if you are lucky. I am saying if you are lucky because sometimes some people aren’t as lucky to carry a baby full term. Which in my opinion makes it way worse mentally on a person. I will be as brutally honest in this article as I have been in all the other ones.

I have never been one to want children of my own, it’s just a personal matter. The fact that children are very expensive firstly. Secondly, I am not ready and don’t think I’ll ever be ready to share my personal time with a baby or babies for the rest of my life, and lastly, I am not prepared to share the love I have for my partner with another human being. I am not saying that I will have an abortion if we might slip up and conceive and it’s every persons personal opinion whether they want to have an abortion or not, but from our side, we will try as hard as we can to prevent it for as long as we can.

That’s why I rather decided to go the different way and donate my eggs to anonymous recipients who have been trying to concieve but were unable. Whether it was naturally, or naturally with fertility treatment, or with another donor.

For a person to go through IVF to concieve, they either get pitty because they can’t conceive on their own, support because of the many women who have been in the same boat, or judgment because of how expensive it is, and what if it doesn’t work, and then you get religious people who believe, if it doesn’t occur naturally, it shouldn’t happen at all. I’ll admit, even though I support it and participate, I too have been a hypocrite at some points in time, just because I don’t understand what it means to be on the other side of the donation process.

I have thought long and hard about this and tried to put myself in the shoes of a woman who have not been able to conceive on her own, so let me try and show you what I see.

Imagine… being a young little girl and playing with your baby doll, your own momma gave you as a present. Imagine looking at your mom and thinking, how great of a momma she is and if you grow up, you want to be just like her. As you grow up you want a family one day, a little person you can call your little person. The older you get the more you want this for the future, the more you want to grow old with educated and accomplished children of your own and have grandchildren one day.

Now, imagine you meet the love of your life and this plan you’ve had since you were a little girl is well under way, and your husband wants this too. Imagine trying, and trying and trying for years and not being able to get this one thing right. This one thing that you have wanted since you were this little girl playing with her dolls. Imagine the emotional abuse, you put yourself through, the pressure you get from your partner, parents and friends. So uneccessary, because you were always perfect in your own way.

For a donor to go through the same treatment regime to help, they get judgement first, above all else. People think to donate your eggs, is the same as to give a child away, or to one day have a child who was braught up by someone else. To set this record straight, the average percentage DNA shared by any two individuals is 12.9%, that means there are at least a 100 other individuals that share your DNA in the world, at least… So tell me again how their is a smaller version of myself running around somewhere?

Secondly, last time I checked, it takes a viable egg and sperm cell to make an embrio, a healthy uterus to carry that embrio and help it grow into a baby and lastly a mother and father to create a child. For me to donate an egg cell is the same as scratching the skin cells of my head, hand or leg. There is a difference in letting those cells go down the toilet and actually putting them to use and making someone happy and giving them their life long dream.

What I can say now, is there is nothing wrong with you. You’ve just been dealt a bad hand when it comes to your female reproductive system. Stop putting so much stress on yourself because that does not make your body any more inviting than it already is. Make peace with the fact that you might never be able to have children. If you do that, you create a safe space for failure, and free yourself from the stresses and pressures that come with trying to have children. I have already made 2 succesful donations and I am currently busy with my third and last donation, so you definitely have my support and lastly, if you have the fucking money to do this then do what will make you happy in life as long as you take good care of that baby and give it all the love it deserves.